What I’m not telling anyone…

Twenty five years old and from your perspective my life is perfect.
I am a doctor to be. I have the perfect family, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect eyes and the perfect background.
I have pursue my talents and have succeeded in every way. I have been blessed with love in all its forms, I have never been in need.

I am lucky enough to be able to feel love of the most passionate kind, and happiness of the one that makes my smile hurts. I have felt pride and joy. I have been blessed, I have been cursed.

I have felt the tears of sorrow escaping from my eyes late at nights while I keep trying to figure out my future; A future that looks so scary that I want to turn back time. I have felt the pain of trying to please everyone at the same time as my voice is shutting down. I have felt the pain of loving so much that the thought of losing it hurts. I have cried to sleep as I try to figure out how to keep sane while time keeps flying away. I have been losing my mind while trying to fix others. I have been losing myself while others try to find themselves in me.

While I keep figuring out how to exist in this world full of noise, I’ll keep smiling and keep telling the world that everything is fine.

While others smile back, I will continue this journey alone.

Late love

He was wearing a blue shirt. I stared at him thinking he was too naive.

She was beautiful, the first woman I met when I came in.

Hello

That’s all it took, I was bewitched. I loved her.

Love is not real.

My heart is in pain.

If he only showed me differently.

Candy. A flower. A kiss.

I’m yours.

A year went by… No candy, no flower, no kiss…

You are my world.

That’s cute.

Hello… My name is Paul.

Hi Paul, I’m Sidney.

He was wearing a red shirt. My favorite color. I’m in love…

Late love

He was wearing a blue shirt. I stared at him thinking he was too naive.

She was beautiful, the first woman I met when I came in.

Hello

That’s all it took, I was bewitched. I loved her.

Love is not real.

My heart is in pain. 

If he only showed me differently.

Candy. A flower. A kiss.

I’m yours.

A year went by… No candy, no flower, no kiss…

You are my world.

That’s cute.

Hello… My name is Paul.

Hi Paul, I’m Sidney.

He was wearing a red shirt. My favorite color. I’m in love… 

Happiness is not forever… nor is sadness.

Grew up in a small green town. 15 minutes away from school, 10 minutes away from college, 12 minutes away from work. I see the same people every day, I do the same things everyday and I even eat at the same three sandwich shops. But I’m happy with my life and my routine. I think everything is perfect in my life. I have an amazing family, a significant other, I love what I do and I love what I see every time I walk out my door. Yet I’m fully aware that things here aren’t perfect. The government is a joke, criminology is taking over, we are lacking some vital resources, but then again those are external things. I mean, even though things aren’t all that perfect outside my door, I’m extremely happy with what I have. Therefor I tend to feel sorry for people when something bad happens to them, but a second later I turn away and keep going.

 

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The thing is that we are not immune. You know how they say “life screw us all”? Well is true.

It has been a week already. My heart is in pieces. But I know I’ll never be the same. I will never look at suffering the same way anymore. I can relate to the pain. I can relate to the loss. I can relate to the broken smiles and the empty eyes. That broken spirit that only a person who have suffer can emanate. From now on there will always be a moment I will be afraid to look back to. There’s this moment that will forever bring tears to my eyes. There’s this moment that I’ll never be able to talk about without feeling  that a piece of my heart is being torn out. There’s this moment that as painful as it is I’ll never be able to fully explain, so I will keep it to myself (because I know no one cares, no one understand). From no on I live in fear. I do not trust what’s out my door. I do not trust the world anymore, and for that I will always be on guard, waiting for the moment when life strikes again (because I know it will happen). After all, happiness is not forever… and there’s nothing more painful and more heartbreaking that staring right into the eyes of a love one in pain.

I love this post and I agree with it a 100%
…Yet I admit that not everyone is can handle being with a girl who reads.

stagnum memoriae

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

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Wear sunscreen

Here’s another inspirational video that I love… I agree with everything it states, and everyday I think of which things I can add to it, because in the end of the day I have learned something I wish I knew when I was younger.
Life is to be enjoyed. Cherish every moment of it. Find what inspires you. inspire others. Live a life that makes you proud. Live a life that makes you feel complete. Accept reality and make the most of it. Be someone you would love to meet. Become someone your kids can look up to. Become someone you love.

Thanks for following.
xoJ

Date ideas

Here are some fun and creative ideas for a date that I have personally tried with my loved one. I know that after spending so much time with a person you start to wonder what other fun things can you guys do together that helps both escape from routine (although I am aware that when you like/love a person, what you do together doesn’t matter that much).

Yet I’m sharing a list of things that you might consider fun (or romantic), please feel free to share your own ideas after.

1) Picnic
This one is my personal favorite, you can either have a picnic in your backyard, a garden, a park or even the beach. As i n what to bring for a picnic I recommend fruits, wine, water and light meals like sandwiches or cupcakes. Don’t forget to bring a blanket (and a camera).

2) Go out for ice cream (try different flavors or try mixing them to create your own)
3) Go to the zoo
4) Go to a botanical gardenImage
5)Go zip lining
6)Dinner and a movie
7)Stay home and watch movies in your living room (pop corn suggested)
8) Bake something together
9)Go to a play
10) Go out for a frappe
11)Visit a museumImage
12)Go out for a run (…or swim)
13)Skype date at night and fall asleep together
14)Dance (or take dancing classes together)
15) Visit an art exhibit
…and this time I don’t mean go to a museum, but visit an exhibit at a gallery or park (there’s always something going on in the art world).
16) Scuba dive
17)Stay indoors and play board games (or video games)
18)Go sightseeing at a new town
19) Walk you dogs together (if you have any)
20)Go to a town fair
21)Do some sport together (play tennis, basket ball, beach volleyball, pool…)
22) Go kayaking
23) Horseback riding
24) Watch the sunrise
25) Concert
26) Go bowling
27) Road trip (try going somewhere historical)Image
28) Beach walk
29) go out for coffee and read books together
30) Travel together
31) Read poems to each other

I guess that another good idea is doing the same things over again but in different places, like try new restaurants, try different ice cream places, watch the sunrise on the beach or mountain… there are endless possibilities… Hope you copy some of my (not so original0 ideas.

Photos by: Janice Delgado

Fifty people, One question: London

I watched this video for the first time 2 year ago and I must say it still is my favorite video on the internet… The score, the faces, the reaction of the people towards one simple question and most of all the introspection.

Where do I wish to wake up tomorrow if there were no limits (anywhere)?

Well, I’m in love so at least for me the obvious answer is in the arms of my love one (who’s right now far away from me).
If I could wake up anywhere in the world with him then I’ll say a couple of years from now in a house of our own, or maybe a couple of years back when things were perfect in my life and each day felt like a celebration, when everyday was bliss…

Things change in life, time pass, sometimes life get better, sometimes we just miss the good old days… If you had the chance, would you like to wake up tomorrow with someone that is not here anymore? Would you go too go back in time to live history? Would you stay where you are right now? Today my answer is next to my love, but I’m sure that tomorrow (meaning some years from now) I’ll be wishing to wake up at my parents house as well (where everything feels right, where I’m secure) and maybe I’ll like to wake up in paradise too, with no worries, with my heart in peace.

Thanks to the creators of this video, thanks for is beauty and for its meaning… To all the readers, thanks for the time spent reading my thoughts.

Good day or good night
xoxo J

A thousand words

I watch the movie a A thousand words a couple of hours ago (so you should already know where am I going with this). For all of you who still haven’t see the movie I’ll give you an extremely short summary:  A thousand words is about a man who was forced to learn to speak only the necessary in order to stay alive. For every word he spoke a leaf fell from a tree which grew on his backyard. Once the tree lose all its leaves, the man was suppose to die.

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After watching it I asked myself: Would I’ll be able to go a whole day without speaking? I bet that If I start saying only the necessary things I can go a week without saying a word. Although it’s easier said than done since I live in house full of people and am pretty much in love with a person I only get to see once a week (which means we spend a lot of time on the phone). But anyway, the point is that we often speak more than what we should and sometimes nothing constructive comes out of our mouth. Usually we tend to speak our minds without premeditating the effect of our words in others (or ourselves). We harm people, we mislead our destiny, we earn a reputation… Instead we should be using the power of words to construct, to teach, to guide, to love and to move forward (in a positive healthy way).